Lifeguard

The beach is my place of peace. I may do nothing but lay, and read a book. Perhaps just people watch. Or I’m searching for sparkling beach glass. I have a big jar filled!

The other day as I lay on the beach, with eyes closed, I was attuned to the waves. I was provided a vision that the sound may be what the brain of a manic person goes through.

One moment the waves are slamming ashore so loudly, it’s almost deafening. Then, just like that, a tiny whitecap flows over, followed by calm.

Then a boat speeds by, and it triggers that same response. Too loud to think straight, let alone speak anything that would make much sense to others.

A manic person speaks as if everything is grandiose. Even when you know something is bad or wrong. Life couldn’t be any better for them, yet, they are at their worst and don’t know it.

There are outbursts of anger.

They will manipulate until they get what they want. Be it money, or a ride somewhere.

The closer you are to them prior to this life changing event, the more apt you are to be their boat…their trigger.

Mental illness affects many people we know. Parents, your children, spouse, pastors, friends.

If you know someone who suffers in this way, please don’t give up.

Be there.

Ride the wave with them in a healthy way for you.

Find their moment of clarity, and that is precisely when help will be received by them.

It will not be easy to witness.

It may be the hardest battle you ever fight.

I guarantee it will be heartbreaking.

BUT, God created the seas, and walked on water!

He will surely get you, and your loved one, to shore safely.

Give Him the Glory, and watch the water turn to glass.

Heartbeat

It’s been said, “Life is like a box of chocolates.”

True.

You choose the ones you like, and get rid of the rest.

It’s sometimes difficult to discern exactly what you’re getting. You take a bite…it’s yucky, you throw it away.

Same with life.

We try to fill our box full of what we prefer. However, there comes a time when your eyes are wide open to all you thought was good, and plenty.

Those choices you made, turned out to be something you no longer enjoyed. Your palette is craving flavors with more substance. Depth. (dark chocolate comes to mind)

In this moment of clarity, you find your worth. You realize that pecan cluster, is just that, a cluster. Of your heart, and mind.

It’s never easy to decide, because who wants to remove one of their favorites from the box? But when you do, inspect it. Cut it in half. Is it stale? Is it no longer gooey, and oozing with goodness and satisfaction? If so, throw it away.

Now you’ve just made room in that box for something that will allow your heart to beat again.

💓

Freedom

Jesus died so we would not be held captive. So, why do we continue to hold ourselves under the wing of something or someone else?

For heavens sake (thanks mom!), your wings are wide. You will soar. They will carry you through anything put in front of you…if you just have a conversation with Him. That’s all prayer is. A conversation with our Father.

In times of heartache, reach out for Him.

In times of chaos, reach for Him.

When you just can’t see the light on the other side, know He is there. Reach out to Him.

When you are hurting, He is there waiting to listen, and speak to your heart.

Freedom is found when you ask for it.

I know my life has been similar to a roller coaster these last few years. I liken it to the Millennium Force at Cedar Point. When your up it’s exhilarating, and free feeling. But when you’re down, you feel as if you’ll keep falling…there’s no way it’s going up again.

That feeling, let’s call it stress, worry, anxiety, and helplessness, will wreak havoc on your insides. Including your mind. It will make you sick. Literally.

Pray.

Again, I say pray.

The power of it is indescribable!

You are never truly free until you release it all to the man upstairs.

Let me share a bit: I had a fire the week of Christmas 2015. My knee locked up for 6 days before surgery was done, 2016. (Not so much a tragedy. I’m still walking, thank God!) I grieved the death of someone living. Someone so very close to me. It seemed like each year there was something bigger trying to take me down.

However, I truly believe had I not gone through all of this, I would not have learned to lean on God more.

It’s in those moments of total loss, that we are at our lowest, and seeking something or someone to take it all away.

I chose God.

He was my rock. He IS my rock.

Nobody can fill His shoes when you need comfort. Nobody can speak to you the way He does in times of need.

Now, a new path has been placed in front of me. One I saw coming, but chose to ignore. But here I am…leaning on the One that will pull me through…knowing He will provide the grace, wisdom, love, and comfort I need to reach the end. And when I’m finally there, I will see with my heart, the why.

Optimism doesn’t come from seeing with our eyes. It comes from believing in, and leaning on the power God provides to us, and through us.

Maybe you will open your heart to Him, as well, and feel the freedom that I do.

Stitched up

Great visuals, and guaranteed to produce a chuckle!

Overcoming Obstacles

I love wearing jeans. Always.

So, I have a pair of jeans (that’s so weird, a “pair” of jeans), that were so worn that they ripped in the knee. What a sad day that was. They (since they’re a pair, I suppose they’re a they), were my favorite jeans.

I still wore them, of course, because I’m 43 and I have a new outlook on life – it’s called “who cares what I look like!”

One day, I decided to take them back to where they came from. I asked their creators if they could fix them.

After an extensive assessment and, I assume, careful consideration, I was informed that the rip was repairable, but it wouldn’t be pretty. I accepted this. I wasn’t ready to let go.

I received the call a week later.  They were ready.  The moment had arrived.  We would meet again.

I was so nervous!…

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Film Critic

To live a complacent life is like watching a movie in slow motion.

You’re left with anticipation of what’s coming.

You wonder if you’ll ever experience the plot.

Or perhaps, you remain sitting still, eyes closed, and end up only catching the credits go by.

Life is meant to be lived.

Love is meant to be shared.

Find someone who pauses the film, so you don’t miss a scene.

Someone who wants to create an amazing life with you, because of you. Your plot…together.

No other movie will ever win a more fabulous award, than the one you’ve put effort into together.

What is your movie rating?

P.S.

Don’t forget to share the popcorn!

Bad Company

Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”


Just one drink…I promise.

Just one drink…I’ll be ok.

Just one drink…leave me alone!

Just one fifth…

Loss of control

Spiraling down

The hole dug, so dark, so empty.

You are not alone.

Where there is darkness, more light is sure to shine.

I am here.

Put the bottle down, and try one more time.

ETERNITY

I get to be with my best friend forever! Seriously, my BFF is really my Best Friend Forever!

Think about it…

Instead of being fearful of losing someone, realize it is truly not the end.

One may go before the other, but one day we WILL be together again.

Forever.

Frolicking in the golden meadows.

The meadows are clothed with flocks, the valleys also are covered with grain; they shout for joy and sing together.” Psalm‬ ‭65:13‬ ‭AMPC‬‬

Swimming in the crystal sea.

“And in front of the throne there was also what looked like a transparent glassy sea, as if of crystal.

‭‭Revelation‬ ‭4:6‬ ‭AMPC‬‬

Me and my bestie together for eternity!

Because I Can

Ever since I was a little girl I’ve always wanted to write a book.

I’d spend my summers at the library. It was across the main road, add one block. I walked there. Ran there. Sometimes I even skipped. (Hmmm Why don’t we see children skipping anymore?) I would read the books in my upstairs bedroom window. Think nook-ish, minus the comfy cushion. From that window I’d see the kids playing outside…perhaps, it was marbles, or a game of football in the street. Some days I’d participate. But 9 times out of 10 I was in that window living through a book.

I was Nancy Drew solving all the greatest mysteries. Other days I was Katherine, from Judy Blume’s Forever Young. (Oh no! She got her period!)

I wanted to write a book! I wanted others to “feel” something through my writing. A payback, of sorts, for all the “feels” I had received, and continue to.

However, fast forward to present day.

I’m 48. Survivor of a rare blood disease (TTP) that caused a stroke at 34.

I am healthy physically. My brain has suffered the most.

I find words are hard to come by most days. It’s as if my brain has those luscious, descriptive words up there, but when I go to speak, it is mundane and boring. I’m thinking it, yet, can’t think of it to speak it. Grrrrr!

I feel inept in conversations, so, out of FEAR, I sit, and listen mostly.

I don’t remember much from high school.

I don’t remember much from my daughter’s first few years.

But, I’m tired of letting fear win.

I am who I am.

I are who I are.

And maybe, just maybe, doing a little blogging will help train my brain to revert back to what it used to be. I need to break into the vocabulary box that I know is up there. Perhaps I’ll discover old memories long gone!

I’m doing this for me. But alas, without feedback, I’ll be doing it alone. What fun is that?

So, please join me in what is sure to be an exciting experience for this puzzled brain of mine.

And remember, I’m very random ; )