Tick Tock

Time is moving faster as I age.

It can be a friend, or an enemy.

I have many things to be thankful for, however, I discovered a few old journals, and re-read them recently.

Whoa!

Time spoke to me in that moment.

It said:

Tick-tock goes the clock.

The minute hand moves faster than your thoughts. The hour hand faster than your actions.

I am not waiting for you.

Message received Father Time.

The One

It’s hard being a woman. We are such loving creatures by nature. For most of us, our love knows no bounds. We put others before ourselves daily. So much so, we have the tendency to lose sight of what’s important to us in a relationship, because we’re so focused on others.

As this journey begins again for me, I’ve come to realize I keep making the same mistakes over, and over again. Yes, at 48, I keep choosing the same emotionally unattached man. Why? I’m not clear on that just yet. But what I can say, going forward, is we should all have one make it, or break it question to ask up front on that first date.

Perhaps it’s your children as a packaged deal, or a bible verse, that represents how you should be treated. Or maybe, you need to know where he stands with God. If he hems and haws, and can’t answer with conviction, then you need to kindly say, I pass. No, thank you. This will not work for me.

If you don’t, and you choose to move forward with that relationship, you guarantee dissatisfaction in the future.

When seeking a partner, we women have a tendency to allow too many “if I’s” into the equation. If I can show him, or, if I can be this way, perhaps, if I change…

You knew at the beginning when that question wasn’t answered in a way that filled your heart. You knew you would end up where you’re at. Unhappy, and questioning why you allowed it all. You already knew! You knew it wasn’t love. You knew he wasn’t enough. Yet, you thought “if I can just show him” or “if I can just be this way” he will come to love me.

Nope!

Never gonna happen.

Ladies, stop making excuses for someone’s actions or beliefs. If they don’t match yours, he is not the one for you.

Period.

Empathy

Overcoming Obstacles

Empathy: placing our feet in shoes that do not belong to us, so that we might know the needs of their owner.

This is a requirement where I work, providing wheelchairs and other mobility related items to people who need them.

While working, my feet have figuratively been in many shoes – shoes that couldn’t feel the feet inside of them, shoes that were worn from pacing back and forth in a hospital waiting room, tiny shoes that sat on the dresser next to an oxygen machine, and large shoes that have never stepped outside.

It’s an honor to wear these shoes. I’ve experienced such great heartfelt rewards that surpass all of the money that the world could offer.

A hero of mine, Mother Theresa, is the mother of empathy. She has provided “shoes” to countless people by loving them.

She answered the call to love her neighbor as herself…

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Lifeguard

The beach is my place of peace. I may do nothing but lay, and read a book. Perhaps just people watch. Or I’m searching for sparkling beach glass. I have a big jar filled!

The other day as I lay on the beach, with eyes closed, I was attuned to the waves. I was provided a vision that the sound may be what the brain of a manic person goes through.

One moment the waves are slamming ashore so loudly, it’s almost deafening. Then, just like that, a tiny whitecap flows over, followed by calm.

Then a boat speeds by, and it triggers that same response. Too loud to think straight, let alone speak anything that would make much sense to others.

A manic person speaks as if everything is grandiose. Even when you know something is bad or wrong. Life couldn’t be any better for them, yet, they are at their worst and don’t know it.

There are outbursts of anger.

They will manipulate until they get what they want. Be it money, or a ride somewhere.

The closer you are to them prior to this life changing event, the more apt you are to be their boat…their trigger.

Mental illness affects many people we know. Parents, your children, spouse, pastors, friends.

If you know someone who suffers in this way, please don’t give up.

Be there.

Ride the wave with them in a healthy way for you.

Find their moment of clarity, and that is precisely when help will be received by them.

It will not be easy to witness.

It may be the hardest battle you ever fight.

I guarantee it will be heartbreaking.

BUT, God created the seas, and walked on water!

He will surely get you, and your loved one, to shore safely.

Give Him the Glory, and watch the water turn to glass.

Heartbeat

It’s been said, “Life is like a box of chocolates.”

True.

You choose the ones you like, and get rid of the rest.

It’s sometimes difficult to discern exactly what you’re getting. You take a bite…it’s yucky, you throw it away.

Same with life.

We try to fill our box full of what we prefer. However, there comes a time when your eyes are wide open to all you thought was good, and plenty.

Those choices you made, turned out to be something you no longer enjoyed. Your palette is craving flavors with more substance. Depth. (dark chocolate comes to mind)

In this moment of clarity, you find your worth. You realize that pecan cluster, is just that, a cluster. Of your heart, and mind.

It’s never easy to decide, because who wants to remove one of their favorites from the box? But when you do, inspect it. Cut it in half. Is it stale? Is it no longer gooey, and oozing with goodness and satisfaction? If so, throw it away.

Now you’ve just made room in that box for something that will allow your heart to beat again.

💓

Freedom

Jesus died so we would not be held captive. So, why do we continue to hold ourselves under the wing of something or someone else?

For heavens sake (thanks mom!), your wings are wide. You will soar. They will carry you through anything put in front of you…if you just have a conversation with Him. That’s all prayer is. A conversation with our Father.

In times of heartache, reach out for Him.

In times of chaos, reach for Him.

When you just can’t see the light on the other side, know He is there. Reach out to Him.

When you are hurting, He is there waiting to listen, and speak to your heart.

Freedom is found when you ask for it.

I know my life has been similar to a roller coaster these last few years. I liken it to the Millennium Force at Cedar Point. When your up it’s exhilarating, and free feeling. But when you’re down, you feel as if you’ll keep falling…there’s no way it’s going up again.

That feeling, let’s call it stress, worry, anxiety, and helplessness, will wreak havoc on your insides. Including your mind. It will make you sick. Literally.

Pray.

Again, I say pray.

The power of it is indescribable!

You are never truly free until you release it all to the man upstairs.

Let me share a bit: I had a fire the week of Christmas 2015. My knee locked up for 6 days before surgery was done, 2016. (Not so much a tragedy. I’m still walking, thank God!) I grieved the death of someone living. Someone so very close to me. It seemed like each year there was something bigger trying to take me down.

However, I truly believe had I not gone through all of this, I would not have learned to lean on God more.

It’s in those moments of total loss, that we are at our lowest, and seeking something or someone to take it all away.

I chose God.

He was my rock. He IS my rock.

Nobody can fill His shoes when you need comfort. Nobody can speak to you the way He does in times of need.

Now, a new path has been placed in front of me. One I saw coming, but chose to ignore. But here I am…leaning on the One that will pull me through…knowing He will provide the grace, wisdom, love, and comfort I need to reach the end. And when I’m finally there, I will see with my heart, the why.

Optimism doesn’t come from seeing with our eyes. It comes from believing in, and leaning on the power God provides to us, and through us.

Maybe you will open your heart to Him, as well, and feel the freedom that I do.

Stitched up

Great visuals, and guaranteed to produce a chuckle!

Overcoming Obstacles

I love wearing jeans. Always.

So, I have a pair of jeans (that’s so weird, a “pair” of jeans), that were so worn that they ripped in the knee. What a sad day that was. They (since they’re a pair, I suppose they’re a they), were my favorite jeans.

I still wore them, of course, because I’m 43 and I have a new outlook on life – it’s called “who cares what I look like!”

One day, I decided to take them back to where they came from. I asked their creators if they could fix them.

After an extensive assessment and, I assume, careful consideration, I was informed that the rip was repairable, but it wouldn’t be pretty. I accepted this. I wasn’t ready to let go.

I received the call a week later.  They were ready.  The moment had arrived.  We would meet again.

I was so nervous!…

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