The One

It’s hard being a woman. We are such loving creatures by nature. For most of us, our love knows no bounds. We put others before ourselves daily. So much so, we have the tendency to lose sight of what’s important to us in a relationship, because we’re so focused on others.

As this journey begins again for me, I’ve come to realize I keep making the same mistakes over, and over again. Yes, at 48, I keep choosing the same emotionally unattached man. Why? I’m not clear on that just yet. But what I can say, going forward, is we should all have one make it, or break it question to ask up front on that first date.

Perhaps it’s your children as a packaged deal, or a bible verse, that represents how you should be treated. Or maybe, you need to know where he stands with God. If he hems and haws, and can’t answer with conviction, then you need to kindly say, I pass. No, thank you. This will not work for me.

If you don’t, and you choose to move forward with that relationship, you guarantee dissatisfaction in the future.

When seeking a partner, we women have a tendency to allow too many “if I’s” into the equation. If I can show him, or, if I can be this way, perhaps, if I change…

You knew at the beginning when that question wasn’t answered in a way that filled your heart. You knew you would end up where you’re at. Unhappy, and questioning why you allowed it all. You already knew! You knew it wasn’t love. You knew he wasn’t enough. Yet, you thought “if I can just show him” or “if I can just be this way” he will come to love me.

Nope!

Never gonna happen.

Ladies, stop making excuses for someone’s actions or beliefs. If they don’t match yours, he is not the one for you.

Period.

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